California Couples Counseling
Relationship Therapy in California
Premarital Counseling | Couples & Relationship Therapy | Marriage Counseling | Divorce | Family Therapy​
A Relational Approach to Treatment
An integrative, affirming approach to relationship counseling that supports communication, emotional connection, and long-term health for couples, families, business partners and other relationships.
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Here are a few of the ways I help couples, families and partners reach their goals in therapy:
In-person or Online
Relationship counseling should work for you. While I always recommend in-person sessions in my Solvang, CA office if you are close by, telehealth (virtual therapy) can be a very convenient way to do therapy without feeling the pressure of rushing to one place or another. Partners and family members can even join from different locations in California. Don't let location stop you: online therapy is secure, accessible and effective.
Learn Sustainable Skills for Connection
An emphasis on foundational concepts and practical skills supports couples in creating lasting change, strengthening connection, and navigating challenges beyond the therapy room.
Sex is not a dirty word.
Sex is one of my favorite topics to explore in therapy because it’s such an important—and often avoided—part of relationships. Many therapists wait for clients to bring it up. I won’t. At some point in our work together, we will gently and respectfully talk about sex.
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Sex can be a meaningful way couples experience connection, pleasure, vulnerability, and play. It can also be a source of confusion, frustration, shame, or disconnection. And for some people, not wanting sex is completely valid too.
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Whether you’re hoping to deepen intimacy, navigate desire differences, heal from past experiences, or simply feel more comfortable talking about sex, you’re in the right place. This is a space where we can speak openly—without judgment or awkwardness.
Growing at Your Pace
Some people know exactly what their goals are for therapy and some just know they want to improve their relationships. We can grow and learn at a pace that works for you. If you are wanting to attend as few therapy appointments as possible, I will tell you how we can approach treatment to increase efficiency. If you're looking long-term and want to keep growing and learning, we can continue to increase connection, intimacy and vulnerability for you and your loved one(s), adjusting goals as you see fit.
Growth for All Relationships
The concepts, skills, and personal growth you experience in relationship counseling can be applied in all areas of life. This is an investment in YOU.
Integrative & Evidence-Based
An integrative approach allows therapy to be tailored to each couple’s unique relational patterns and stage of development. Care is grounded in an evidence-based, integrative framework, drawing primarily from The Couples Institute’s developmental model, Nonviolent Communication, and Relational Life Therapy (RLT). Additional modalities, including Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Integrative Relational Therapy, are incorporated to support meaningful and lasting change.
Transparent Communication
You know the moment when the curtain is pulled in The Wizard of Oz and we see how everything works? That's my goal as your therapist: to teach you how it all works so you can do it yourself. I'll show you why I do what I do, teach you certain skills and help you zoom out to find patterns yourself, without always needing to depend on a therapist to help you and your partner during tough times.
Affirming Approach to Care
Affirmative, supportive care that honors the full range of human identities and experiences, informed by multicultural and neurodiversity-affirming perspectives. This practice is inclusive of LGBTQIA+ and neurodivergent clients and centers on respect, safety, and collaboration.
Outside of the Box Therapy
If you have tried marriage counselor after marriage counselor and one or both of you are ready to throw in the towel, I encourage you to try a few sessions with me first. I find my approach is different than many couples therapists (trust me, I've gone to a lot of them myself in the past!) and I pride myself in my straightforward, transparent approach that meets your relationship goals.
Neurodivergent-Affirming Support for Mixed Neurotypes
Relationships can be especially challenging when partners have different neurotypes (e.g. Autism, ADHD, AuDHD). Differences in communication styles, sensory needs, emotional processing, and coping strategies can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and disconnection.
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In therapy, we focus on helping you understand and respect each other’s nervous system and neurodivergent traits, build practical strategies for connection, and create a relationship dynamic that honors both partners’ needs.
Areas of Focus
Whether it’s navigating conflict, deepening connection, or managing life transitions, I help couples, partners and families build skills and grow together. Here are some common themes we focus on in relationship therapy:
Communication
Strong communication is a skill you can learn, not just a natural talent. I help couples and families develop practical tools to express needs clearly, listen with understanding, and navigate conflict without escalating tension.
Our work focuses on actionable strategies you can use in real time—so difficult conversations become manageable, connection is maintained, and misunderstandings are minimized.
Sex
Sex and intimacy are central to many relationships, yet they can also bring confusion or tension. I help individuals and couples develop practical skills to communicate desire, deepen connection, and create shared experiences of pleasure.
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Our work can include exploring emotional and physical intimacy, enhancing sexual confidence, and addressing barriers to enjoyment—all in a safe, sex-positive, and nonjudgmental space tailored to your relationship and goals.
Divorce
Divorce is hard. Whether you’re facing separation, navigating the legal process, or adjusting to changes, divorce brings grief, stress, and uncertainty (and sometimes relief).
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In therapy, we’ll create a space to process your emotions, manage conflict, strengthen co-parenting communication, and reflect on what you’ve learned from your relationship. Divorce can also be an opportunity to gain clarity about yourself and what you want moving forward so you can step into your next chapter with greater understanding and confidence.
Parenting
I take a family-systems approach to parenting, supporting not just children, but the whole family unit. We focus on understanding patterns, improving communication, and creating structure and boundaries that work for everyone.
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This approach helps parents feel confident and intentional, while guiding children toward emotional resilience, self-awareness, and healthy relationships within the family—and beyond.
Discernment
Feeling unsure about whether to stay in your relationship can be overwhelming. Discernment therapy offers a structured, supportive space to slow down, explore your feelings, and gain clarity about what you truly want.
In this work, we examine the dynamics that brought you to this crossroads, what each partner needs and values, and whether couples counseling is the right next step. This process provides guidance and insight, helping you make a thoughtful, informed decision rather than staying stuck in uncertainty, regret, or confusion.
Premarital & Marriage
Whether you are dating, engaged, or married, couples counseling can provide a supportive space to address challenges, deepen understanding, and build skills that strengthen your relationship over time. Therapy is not only for times of crisis—it can also help you navigate transitions, enhance communication, and deepen emotional and physical intimacy, even during the honeymoon phase.
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We focus on practical tools for improving intimacy, vulnerability and connection while exploring patterns that may prevent your relationship from thriving. In therapy, couples grow together, strengthen trust, and create a partnership that feels intentional, resilient, and fulfilling.
Infidelity
Infidelity and betrayal can take many forms: financial, emotional, physical, sexual, spiritual, or other breaches of trust. Discovering a betrayal, whether through an affair or broken agreements, can feel devastating. While the pain is real, these moments can also become turning points; opportunities to revision your relationship with honesty and intention.
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You don’t have to navigate this alone. In therapy, we’ll create a safe space to process hurt, understand what happened, rebuild trust where possible, and clarify what each of you truly needs. Whether you choose to repair your relationship or redefine it, you’ll have guidance and support along the way.
Mixed Neurotypes
Relationships can be especially challenging when partners have different neurotypes. Differences in communication styles, sensory needs, emotional processing, and coping strategies can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and disconnection.
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In therapy, we focus on helping you understand and respect each other’s nervous system and neurodivergent traits, build practical strategies for connection, and create a relationship dynamic that honors both partners’ needs.
Alternative Lifestyles
I have training and experience working with alternative relationship structures and identities, including polyamory, open relationships, and kink. My approach is affirming, nonjudgmental, and grounded in an understanding that relationships don’t have to follow one model to be healthy.
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If I’m not the right fit for your specific needs, I’ll ensure you receive referrals to therapists who are knowledgeable and aligned with your community.
Business Partners
Experiencing conflict at work with a business partner, boss, or colleague? I can help. Workplace relationships can be just as complex and emotionally charged as personal ones.
Together, we’ll work to improve communication, clarify expectations, and navigate tension in a way that protects both your professional goals and your well-being.
Families with Addiction
If your loved one is in the throes of active addiction—or you’re struggling with the impact of their substance or process addiction—you don’t have to navigate it alone. Loving someone with addiction can bring confusion, fear, anger, and deep exhaustion.
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Our work will focus on clarifying boundaries, strengthening communication, and defining what healthy support looks like for both you and your loved one.
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I have education and experience in both 12-step and harm reduction models.
Family Conflict
Are in-laws leaving you feeling defensive or resentful? Does a family member feel overly involved in your life or relationship? Family dynamics can create tension that spills into every corner of your partnership.
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We’ll work to strengthen boundaries, improve communication, and help you respond to conflict with clarity and confidence; even when the tension involves people outside your relationship.
....and much more! There is no relationship challenge that we can't tackle together.
Therapeutic Foundations
My integrated approach to couples therapy utilizes a variety of modalities, shaped by ongoing training and years of clinical work with couples.
Founded in 1984 by Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson, The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California, specializes in evidence-based couples therapy and training. They created the developmental model of couples therapy, a widely used framework for diagnosing and improving relationship dynamics. I am currently in their advanced program for clinicians.